by ockers » Fri Nov 12, 2010 11:42 pm
some more top tips.............
Save a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam. They
will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.
A hedgehog trained to scuttle up and down the table from guest to
guest makes an unusual mobile cheese and pineapple cube nibble
dispenser at cocktail parties.
Domestos is an ideal substitute for Blue Curaco, and far less pricey.
It gives any cocktail a bit of "oomph."
Foil pick pockets by placing a freshly toasted "Pop Tart" in each
pocket. Would-be thieves will quickly rupture the fragile pastry and
receive nasty finger burns from the steaming hot jam inside.
Cant afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film
and press them into your eyes.
Save money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply
changing your name to match your existing plate.
Pop a few tea bags in your hot water tank and you can make a hot cuppa
anytime by just turning on the tap.
Always keep a pound of lard in your pocket so that if you get your
head stuck in railings you'll be able to grease your ears and slide
out.
Internet users. Try "accessing" your local newsagents and "download" a
few wank mags from the top shelf. They're cheaper than computers, and
easier to smuggle into the toilet.
Play "Moth Aircraft Carriers" by floating a shoe box in the bath with
a torch attached. Leave a window open for ten minutes, then turn off
the room lights and watch as the moths attempt to make their dramatic
and dangerous landings.