The silly season is almost finished and normal footballing activities will commence in the post meridian of later next month. I of course will be online, on chat and well pissed.
Just got back from a 2 week tour to the U.S. of A. It’s OK I never went anywhere near Philly (sozza Rich). New York was disgustingly hot humid and smelly, a bit like my armpits after teaching all day. I saw some amazing musicals, if Memphis or Nearly Normal come to West End, a must see.
Moving on to L.A.
I was in the bar at the Sheraton (5* hotel ahem) and it was about 6.30 pm, we were just checking in (50 of us) I was in charge of the party, of course there was the usual problems to be sorted so I did what any good tour leader would do and left them to it and headed for the bar.
So I spies this woman standing alone at the bar,
she was about 50, her tits must have cost her $10K each, she looked hot. Uncle Aspers meandered over introduced himself in his best British accent. Knock me down with a feather if her face didn’t light up and she started talking to me. A quick check over my shoulder and she who must wasn’t anywhere to be seen, in like Flynn thinks I. After talking to this witty, amazing, wonderful woman I thinks, something aint quite right here, she’s a man, hooker or psycho. I mean I’m all right but you wouldn’t climb over Keith to get to me!!.2 of my students came up to me and said hello, they then turned to my companian and said, its so good to meet you can we have our photo with you.
Turns out to be Hulk Hogans ex wife, she has a T.V reality show I have never seen, she obviously thought I was a fan which is why she was so nice to me. See any girls reading this even fat balding middle aged men think they can still walk the walk. She then introduced me to her ‘partner’ a 30 something god. I had a very pleasant glass of Chardy with her party. I managed to redeem a trifle of my dignity when I told them my exploits as a ballet dancer. I mean Hulk Hogans ex wife, would you be silly enough to go there, not me, not that I would have a chance but still not me.
I also managed to get on T.V in New York.
The ABC studios in New York are in Times Square, just around from our hotel. Jet slag me went for a walk in Times Square about 5.00am, I noticed these people lining up so I just joined the line, someone came and gave me coffee, next thing Robin (black chick very famous on ABC morning show) came out and talked to us, told us to stand here, I did, next thing the cameras are there and Uncle Aspers is on coast to coast worldwide T.V and the most amazing thing is my daughter Ruby when I got back to the hotel said, Dad I’m sure you have a twin, I just saw someone like you on TV. I don’t normally do unpaid T.V but… whatever.
So back in Australia and it’s cold, we are in Mid winter. When I say its cold at night it gets down to 9C and during the day to 18C My spa was shite my spa was nil. I mean smelly, my nephews had had fun when I was away and not looked after it. I super chlorinated it, shocked the shit out of it and we are now able to spa, unfortunatrely my hands came into contact with Sulphuric Acid, It is so painful, I am using huge amounts of Vitamin E hand cream. My doctor thinks my hands will be normal in about 6 months, I told him 3 and we have a case of VB on it. I have to wear those hygiene gloves in the kitchen.
I cooked fish with mash and a flat leaf parsley and parmesan dressing for dinner last night, beautiful it was, brownie points galore.
Just made myself an Irish Coffee, may walk down to my pontoon and fish for a while, I should probably put some clothes on.
So my love to you, go to my facebook page and have a look at my photos of my house. I am back in paradise, if your coming to Oz, I have an exclusive 1 bedroom holiday retreat on the Hawkesbury River (google it), own boat, world class restaurant. Normally $450.00 per night to Shrimpvoice members half price, of course subject to availability, Internet, Foxtel and complimentary bottle of the cheapest champers I can get away with.
Right loves. May your god go with you and looking forward to seeing/talking soon.
Aspers.
