Ramblings of a Lunatic.

[Aspers]

Here I am, 6.15pm Friday evening, all alone on the Sunshine coast in Queensland. My apartment looks out over the clear blue Pacific Ocean and the rooftop pool and spa are tres relaxing.

The town I’m in is called Caloundra, , not bad surf, quiet, going down for dinner in a minute, probably end up at the local ari (bit like the ex servicemens club)grab a few tinnies and back to my resort.

Now this is all well and good and boring but in 2 more sleeps we’re off to Daggers, well we’ve been there before and I remember those Essex boys breaking my heart, I actually remember an Essex girl breaking me once but that’s rather too x rated for here!.

You’ll be glad to know that its turned rather cool here and even though it was 25C here today, One normally associates this part Queensland to about 27 – 30C. I’ll probably wear pyjamas tonight.

How ridiculous are Morecambe FC, I mean really, come on, Dagenham V Morecambe, makes me chuckle, I have about 25 mates all looking out for the result, well done to Sammy and the lads, what a ride this season has been, remember last Oct – Nov, that’s football. Talking about football the Sydney Swans got a severe larruping from Geelong last week, the word pussies sprung to mind but as they train and play next door to where the studios are I don’t say much except “morning lads”,.

So Dancing with the stars were rehearsing at our place for the new season, bugger me if the woman who is the star didn’t come up and say “Hello Wayne, how’s Jac”, gave me kiss and we had a full on conversation, I have no idea who she is, must ask she who must who it is.

Watching Joe Bugner on I’m a celebrity, tother day good old lad is George, still with Marlene eh, I remember when they got together and his ex wife told the News of the World how he was a bastard etc. “Hell hath no fury” to quote a much wrongly quoted quote!. Any way he said he was going home for sex, now I’m no prude bit there’s a line when I think men should stop talking about having sex, maybe 40.

Quite a few ships out to sea tonight, can see them from my balcony don’t you know. Someones having a Barbie and they’ve got it turned too high, I can smell the hot fat, never mind can’t do too much damage to a snag (sausage) and a coldie.
Talking of a coldie I bought a 6 pack of XXXX, they were on special, the only way to drink XXXX is to sup it nearly frozen with a cremated snag, might pop next door and grab a snag, take the tinnies and join in.
That was very nice says I who having returned 45 minutes after I popped in, Bruce and Barbara and Ian and Janice from Ipswich (Queensland not our friends darn sarf)managed 2 snags and a couple of Boags, not a bad trade for my sub standard XXXX. I feel a bit like Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall from River Cottage!.

Well I’m off to sample the nightspots of Caloundra, its very quiet so I’ll probably be back in half an hour, not hungry after the snags so might just wander down the hood, hang with ma homies, there should also be a cut off point when middle aged men stop talking like 2pac and I’ve reached that many moons ago, talking of moons, that movie windtalkers is on over here, what a cracker of a movie, apparently its all true. I know how to order beer in nearly every language in the world, I was on tour once with a ballet company around France, I think her name was Isabella on that tour, anyway we decided to learn how to order beer in as many languages as we could, we bought books and I learnt it in Navajo but I’ve forgotten it now.

No Internet in those days, in fact the walkman had just come out and I remember listening to Cat Stevens watching the French countryside whizzing past our tour bus. We stopped at Le Mans once, for lunch on our way to somewhere Iong forgotten, I went for a Jimmy and it was hole in the ground to be shared by men and woman, how does 1 shit, I guess open wide squat and launch, needless to say Aspers never shat at a roadside café. Not me, 5 star toilets all the way except when you go bush.

There is a design fault in my bathroom here, when you open the shower door it bangs against the ceramic bowl in which 1 sits, rather annoying.

So that’s it my lovelies, just heard about a pool party upstairs, I hate pool parties, theres always some hot Sheila there and you have to spend the evening holding your gut in, still going but, no doubt I will charm some lucky lady into thinking I’m a huge star, honestly the bullshit 1 says sometimes, mind in my case its nearly always true if a trifle exaggerated.

Which reminds me, I was having a coffee with Rusty and Danni the other day and he said he had a great time doing Robin Hood, he said the Pommies were mad, he went to a football match and couldn’t believe the passion. He did say he’d put my Morecambe shirt on and get a photo 1 day ( I believe that the lying Kiwi). Right then time to get wet. Must admit it’s a bit chilly about 19C now, see you in the chat room.

Toodles,
Aspers
XXXX

[ezz]

Another installment of my favourite blog

[scar]

it's been a fair while since the last Ramblings Aspers...... always a fantastic read.

[Ntini]

What the... oh, it's Aspers.............!

A good blog as ever from the Shrimp down under.

[heysham_mfc]