Clean Joke Time!

[durhamshrimp]

One of Frank Skinner's:

Linford Christie goes to try to join his local golf club. They refuse to accept him because he's black, and tell him that there's a municipal golf club 10 minutes down the road, which he can play at. He says "Don't you know who I am? I'm Linford Christie!". They reply, "Oh alright, since it's you... 5 minutes down the road"

It's good on two levels. Firstly it's funny, secondly there's the relief at the end when it turns out its not a racist joke.

[Curly]

Yes, but it could be offensive to those that Linford Christie beat in a race, it reminds them
of their defeat, possibly causing depression.
Possibly we could look at all runners holding hands and crossing the line together or football teams passing the ball about for 90 minutes, not beating each other, and everyone goes home
happy and not oppressed.

[shrimper]

Actually - that's a joke that mirrors an actual event.

Chelsea were playing at Anfield in the early 80s and Seb Coe (Chelsea fan) turned up at the main reception and attempted just to walk in. The doorman asked to see his ticket or pass, he had none but said 'I'm with Chelsea'.

The doorman said: "The away end's round that way, sir." Coe replied 'do you know who I am?, I'm Sebastian Coe!' to which the doorman replied: "Shouldn't take you long to get round there, then!"

[Freez]

Told as truth, but I fear apocryphal as thats the 4th different version I have heard!!

[Morecambe Player]

Reminds me of a story about a celebrity who who turns up somewhere, gets refused for something before giving it the old "Do you know who I am" routine. The person behind the desk then shouts over to a colleague in front of lots of customers "Can you help this guy out? He doesn't know who he is"...Cue extreme embarrassment and tail between legs...