A QPR fan's rant

[The Marksman]

QPR fan posted this on Betfair forum:

I take more pleasure in seeing Chelsea lose than I do in seeing QPR win at the moment.
I sat through so many matches when we were absolute dogs**t under the likes of Ray Harford and with people like Paul Bruce, Matthew Brazier and Mark Perry in the squad and I never felt like this.
The club isn't ours anymore but more so than that - football is just properly gash these days.
I mean really gash. Football generally.

I hate nearly everything about it these days....

I hate the Prem and the myth that it is exciting this year. Man City breaking into the top four isn't exciting. They spent loads of money. It's no more exciting that Nameless C*** getting to number 1 in the charts after winning the X-Factor.

I hate the myth of Arsene's kids. Buying some French kid when he's 17, playing him in the League Cup and then selling him when he's 20 after about 3 appearances in the league is NOTHING SPECIAL.

I hate hearing about Liverpool/Man Utd's debt but nothing ever happening about it. A club needs to go to the wall for the money thing to change but it doesn't happen. Why the **** are Charlton, Leeds and Southampton still in business?

I hate Frank Lampard's stupid f'ing face. I hate John Terry being England captain when he's CLEARLY AN OAF.

I hate the England team.

I hate young exciting wingers who have nothing but pace. Tony Scully had nothing but pace.

I hate the FA Cup. There may be little shocks like last night but for the most part you know who's going to win it. Unless a team throws away all their financial security to win it a la Pompey.

I hate Harry f'ing Redknapp. And Jamie Redknapp. And Louise Redknapp. And the Wii.

I hate James Nesbitt, Eammon Holmes and f***ing everyone.

I hate Gary Lineker and Alan Shearer.

I hate Garth Crooks.

I hate Garth Brooks for that matter.

I hate Sky Sports.

I hate that when a lower league player beats 10 players and chips the keeper it doesn't matter but if Rooney scores from more than 20 yards it's amazing.

I hate that everything football related has to have 'Club Foot' playing behind it.

I hate that female sports journos are now mandatory.

I hate Mark Lawrensen for not coming out. 'I do like a big man at the back'. I bet you do.

I hate any advert that portrays football to be about anything other than pain and disappointment.

I hate any advert that mentions pies at football.

I hate Lee Hughes and the fact that he makes a living from the game. I hate Marlon King and any team that signs him when he gets out. I hate that it'll probably be us.

I hate Phil Brown.

I hate 'well the ball is a lot lighter now and will cause goalkeepers real problems this summer' before EVERY F'ING TOURNAMENT.

I hate that Kieron Dyer earned more in the time I took to write this post than I'll earn this month.

I hate Adrian Durham, Ian Wright and Alan Brazil.

I hate Gazza. Either die or shut up. Stop f'ing lingering.

I hate hearing about Hillsborough more than I hear about Heysel or Bradford.

I hate that a comeback from 4-0 down at half time (TWICE) means nothing because we aren't f'ing scouse.

I hate Leeds.

I hate Roy Keane.

I hate grown men wearing football shirts of their team whilst shopping on a Saturday when their team is playing at home.

I hate that I don't hate Roy Hodgson.

I hate Jermaine Beckford and any player who has neck tattoos.

I hate songs being inappropriately taken as club anthems and then sung in a manly way. 'I'm forever blowing bubbles....'. Gaylords.

I hate Danny Dyer and anyone he's ever interviewed.

I hate the book 'Cass' by Cass Pennant. It is honestly the stupidest thing I've ever read. Chapter 1: Millwall. 'Yeah we took 50 to Millwall. They had 1000 in their mob but we ran 'em up and down the street'. Chapter 2: Liverpool. 'Yeah we took 50 to Liverpool. They had 2000 in their mob but we ran 'em up and down the street'. Fk me... Jade Goody's autobiography is probably better. Even her non-ghost written one.

I hate that all good youngsters end their careers at Spurs before they start.

[slackAlice]

I actually agree with a lot of that !!! I like Harry Redknapp though

I thought this was funny , picked up from a link in a previous post. 20 things you'll often / always see at a non-league ground.

Contrary to popular opinion, it's not just one man and his whippet that attends non-league football, yet one thing's for sure, you'll most likely see the following...

No. Description
1 A man with a bright red face and enormous flared trousers.

2 The local town nutter who declares that he loves his local team so much and never, ever, misses a game, before mysteriously disappearing somewhere during the second half.

3 The failed tactician. Usually stands behind managers dugouts in a mid-nineties Adidas training coat, Farah slacks and shiny shoes, bellowing out various disastrous instructions to all and sundry.

4 Some old dear selling Bovril for the 61st consecutive season.

5 The players wags - usually huddled together in the few half decent wooden seats that are available. And even at this level they're always stunning... why is that ?

6 The half-time raffle where the prizes are mostly things like 4 cans of Mackeson Stout, a box of out of date Terry's All Gold, or a half empty can of Lynx.

7 The condemned stand. In most non-league grounds you encounter a thin piece of red and white tape that's the only thing separating you from certain death on a relic that has stood empty and disused since 1987.

8 Dodgy advertisement hoardings. These usually include a local haulage firm, an Indian takeaway, something where half of the advertisement has dropped off, and a taxi firm that went out of business 3 year ago.

9 A dodgy section of the pitch. Used to great tactical effect by the home team, often resulting in long balls pumped to the sloping left-wing, daisy-cutter shots towards the molehills, and random bounces on the concrete-like goalmouth area.

10 The 40 year old club veteran. Usually a central defender with a nose like a hammer, but sometimes a journeyman ex-pro called Dave, Barry, Mick, or Alan.

11 The desperate Dad. Father of one of the younger players, he spends the entire match shouting and rawping at him in the full knowledge that his lad is never going to be quite good enough to 'make it'. That trial at Brentford will never come around again.

12 The bloke who positions himself near the dug out so he can berate the manager regardless of the team's form or performances. Likes a pint in the social club with the failed tactician.

13 Packets of crisps at the tea bar from manufacturers you've never heard of and that probably don't even exist. Brands like Bensons or His Nibs.

14 The annoying intermittent tannoy system that was given to the club back in 1974 by the local bus corporation. It hardly worked back then, now it just sounds like Norman Collier has taken over the pre-match announcements.

15 The pre-match announcements. Come on, doe
s anybody listen to them ? He could be droning on about balsa wood for all anybody knows. In actual fact, he's usually thanking the local print firm for the match sponsorship or playing records such as "Eye of the Tiger" or anything by Phil Collins.

16 A couple of spectacularly bored six year olds brought along by an elderly relative desperate to institutionalise them into the ways of supporting the local team. Moments after kick off they'll start kicking a discarded Coke can about for the remainder of the match.

17 The fancy-dan wannabe. Easy to spot - he's the only wearing white, gold or red boots. And a hairband. Normally tries a couple of fancy flicks with his first few touches before being taken out by the 40 year old club veteran.

18 Some half-daft old dear on her own in the seats wrapped in a bizarre, home made club scarf and wearing an equally homespun woolly hat. Her mood will swing from quiet benevolence to incandescent rage at any innocuous refereeing decision. There's also a good chance she'll be knitting.

19 The drunk in the social club. He only goes because it was the only place he could get served before all day drinking was allowed. Hasn't yet realised the law was changed in 1989. Even the bloke who positions himself near the dug out and the failed tactician try to avoid him.

20
A massive, clapped out old telly in the social club. It was probably made by PYE.