O/T CLASSIC ONE LINERS!!

[mrpotatohead]

I am bored, so i am starting one of my stupid poinless compos, classic one liners, i will post my classic one liner below, and we are off!!



" your optimism strikes me like junk mail addressed to the dead "

[mrpotatohead]

come on occupants of another planet, do we have any fans with any germ of slight wit

88 peeeple lucked in the furst our incloodi8n...........

[shrimper]

I'll have some of whatever you're on!

[Curly]

I am bored, so i am starting one of my stupid poinless compos, classic one liners, i will post my classic one liner below, and we are off!!



" your optimism strikes me like junk mail addressed to the dead "

" your optimism strikes me like junk mail addressed to the dead "

Classic Half Man Half Biscuit

How about,
What do you want to be when you grow up?
"A lollipop man, you don't start work til your sixty five!"

[Posh]

First we copy Man Utd songs by the dozen and now we're copying whole threads off the Carlisle Utd messageboard while it's still live http://boards.footymad.net/forum.php?tn ... 2123150882, which is superb by the way. Come on let's have some originality!

P.S. The new Half Man Half Biscuit album is OK but when it called CSI:Ambleside you buy it anyway.

[George Dawes]

is this a private joke or can anyone join in

[Stewie]

What do you want to be when you grow up?
"A lollipop man, you don't start work til your sixty five!

I think you`ll find technically thats a "two liner".

[Blackpool Shrimp]

How about the referees assistant hes a one liner !!!!

[marky No.1]

The funny thing about common sense is that it ain't so common

[durhamshrimp]

One from Jimmy Carr:

"In the northern hemisphere january is the coldest month of the year. If you were in Australia in January however..... you'd be surrounded by c***s."

[Little Shrimp]

Rafa Benitez's english is ok. His writing's good but he struggles with Reading!!!!!!!!

[james456]

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather - not screaming in terror like his passengers.

[Keith]

why is it, if you start screaming in a library, they throw you out but if you do it on an aeroplane, everyone joins in?

[skyecat]

why is it that there is so much apathy in the wo...

[outsider]

Why is there an S in lisp?

[shrimper]

From this week's Lancaster Guardian...

"There's no place for a tattooist in Carnforth!"

Classic.

[durhamshrimp]

Ever got halfway through eating a horse and realised you weren't as hungry as you first thought?

[skyecat]

why is abbreviation such a long word?

and

why is dyslexic so difficult to spell?

[ockers]

I resemble that remark................