o/t Bank Holiday chemistry....

[Alan]

Saw this on one of the BBs I frequent and thought it worthy of a wider audience. Apologies if it has been posted before.


Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

"Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?"

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student however, wrote the following...

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So, which is it???

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

The student received an A*.

With thanks to Davron8 on the AST thread.

[shrimper]

[quote="
The student received an A*.

With thanks to Davron8 on the AST thread.[/quote]


....and his own slot on Saturday Night Live, I hope!!



Read it before but a long time ago so thanks for this.

PS What's a 'BB'?

[marky No.1]

In footballing terms Hell is the equivalent of the Burton game. In which case exothermic is correct as lots of heat was given off behind that goal

Bulletin Boards

[shrimper]

In footballing terms Hell is the equivalent of the Burton game. In which case exothermic is correct as lots of heat was given off behind that goal

Bulletin Boards :?:

Assumed so - just never heard it abbreviated so casually.

[slackAlice]

Alan

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

Almost as good as the question we got in our 1st YR Philosophy ; Whats the difference between a real and an imaginary pork pie ? [5000 words] I don't know whether I've still kept my essay but my conclusion was there is NO difference and it somehow made sense. Its Ontology [existence / reality] ; any quality you can apply to your real pork pie i.e. its tasty, nutritious, aromatic , hot ... can also be applied to 'your' imaginary pork pie.

[Curly]

Chemistry nerds having sex? The end is nigh!

[shrimper]

Chemistry nerds having sex? The end is nigh!

Careful - that's my Mrs you're talking about.