Ramblings of a Lunatic.

[Aspers]

So here I am in Gods great Garden and wondering how did the Russians do so much in the space race.
I know I'm in a bit of a 3rd world country but honestly I am watching Setanta, its the Russian Premier League and Zenit are playing Saturn, bugger when you have to do the away leg.
Bye love, I'll be back in 12 light years we've got Saturn away this week. Pitch looks like its full of craters and theres no bugger watching. Talking about no one watching,I'm a bit disappointed at our attendance this year, (Saturn have just scored it's 1-1). I mean apathy is alive and well and on show in Morecambe. So here is Aspers master plan to increase attendance. Tell more people, its so bleeding simple, get the car going with the loudspeaker on top like the pollies do (vote for me etc) and tell everyone via loudspeaker that Morecambe are playing at home and if you come down I'll stop waking you up at this hour etc.
Echo in here is there?.
I see Kendra's packed her bags and gone, I felt kinda sad watching the girls split up, Old Hef looked well gutted but pretended to be cool, maybe the old bastard can get some sleep at night, I mean he's never out of bed, not surprised neither would I be.
My beautiful Asian neighbours are having a party, they are doing Karaoke and they are shite, Uncle Aspers is now off to crash the party and have a go on the old singalong. BRB(Be right back)
Our hero returns after singing crazy little thing called love, better than Freddie ever could, (ha of course I'm joking), I think I was offered a shag by mama San, but I was too polite to do owt, also a bit scared of the Triads.
Brought back a bottle of Tiger beer, mmmmmmm loverly.
So looks like I'm going to be invited to all the parties from our Asian cousens from now on.
I met Freddy Mercury in about 86, Cliff and I were doing TIME, and Freddy was going to takeover from Cliff but only for 1 show, I thought Freddie looked like a camper version of a lad I knew from Morecambe who's got a security firm.
Was out on the Hawkesbury river today with friends and family, the kids were swimming , I was a bit paranoid about Sharks but everyone who went swimming returned so all OK.
I'm on a strict diet at the mo so only had about 5 beers, I had to drive anyway so didn't drink all afternoon, Mrs Aspers is still there pissed up with the other members of her Coven.
The 1st Australian Female Premier was elected yesterday,
Anna Bligh in Queensland, you know the worlds a bit screwd up when Austrlians elect a woman!!!.
Is that the birdy dance I can hear, for foodness sake it is.
Raining like Morecambe at the moment, a bit of lightning, Miss 10 is a bit scared so I'm off to be Daddy hero.
Night my lovelies, may we remain undefeated until May 2010.
HA!!.

[Keith]

Mrs Aspers is still there pissed up with the other members of her Coven.

The 1st Australian Female Premier was elected yesterday,
Anna Bligh in Queensland, you know the worlds a bit screwd up when Austrlians elect a woman!!!.

I'm about to tell Mrs F what you wrote... prepare to go in to hiding!

[Aspers]

It sounds a bit women hater doesn't it.


What I really meant was, the typical oker thinks Sheilas are good for 2 things and they rhyme, 1 of thems cooking.