O/T Ireland

[SolentShrimp]

Yep, sounds like you have no opinion on it either way

I'm a little stumped where etiquette is concerned, so I've got some questions [or is it queeries ]

How do you address married gay blokes? Is it Mr and Mr, or Mr and Mrs? Can a Mrs be a bloke?

Ditto with a lesbian marriage? Mrs and Mrs, or Mr and Mrs? Can a woman be a Mr?

Also, I was watching a programme on the telly yesterday.
There were a couple of married gay blokes.
One was called John and the other was called James.
When they were mentioned during the programme, it was always "...John and husband James". Why couldn't they be addressed as "...James and his wife John"?

Grateful if someone could answer my queeries?

Is this an attempt at comedy are you a f*cking moron?

Oh dear!

They were queeries, just like all the queeries on this Gay & Lesbian website, obviously posted by Gay & Lesbians who are unsure of this that and the other that might affect their day to day lives...

http://www.gaymanners.com/queeries/Queeries.html

If they're unsure, then why shouldn't I be?

I've got all the answers I want now, and so in the immortal words of Larry Grayson...

"...have a Gay day."

[SolentShrimp]

So what does 'motherhood' mean? Why shouldn't it be deconstructed? Is maternal & paternal simply gender based? Or is motherhood only something that the woman who gives birth can lay claim to?

I thought that mothers could breastfeed?

So a woman who adopts a baby should never be referred to as the child's "mother" because the criteria for being a "mother" is to have been able to breastfeed the child when it was a baby. How strange.

Different scenario. She's the adopted female parent.

[Keith]

I thought that mothers could breastfeed?

So a woman who adopts a baby should never be referred to as the child's "mother" because the criteria for being a "mother" is to have been able to breastfeed the child when it was a baby. How strange.

Different scenario. She's the adopted female parent.

But not a "mother"... apparently. According to your definition at least.

[SolentShrimp]

Keith. What's your own practical experience of being either a mother or father?

[SimplyRed MFC]

Solent, just for the record its 'queries' with one 'e' incidently, honestly.

[SolentShrimp]

Solent, just for the record its 'queries' with one 'e' incidently, honestly.

Thanks.
I can spell.
But for the purpose of this thread, my spelling comes from...

http://www.gaymanners.com/queeries/Queeries.html

End of your query [or is it queery]

[Keith]

Keith. What's your own practical experience of being either a mother or father?

As far as I'm aware...

What is the relevance of the question?

[SupermarketShrimp]

I don't care one way or the other.
But do we really need to have the subject rammed down our throats?
A country with a population similar in size to Greater Manchester area votes for legalising gay marriage. Wow!

I long for the day that LGBT Rights are no longer news and become the norm. So do they to be honest too.

[SupermarketShrimp]

Yep, sounds like you have no opinion on it either way

I'm a little stumped where etiquette is concerned, so I've got some questions [or is it queeries ]

How do you address married gay blokes? Is it Mr and Mr, or Mr and Mrs? Can a Mrs be a bloke?

Ditto with a lesbian marriage? Mrs and Mrs, or Mr and Mrs? Can a woman be a Mr?

Also, I was watching a programme on the telly yesterday.
There were a couple of married gay blokes.
One was called John and the other was called James.
When they were mentioned during the programme, it was always "...John and husband James". Why couldn't they be addressed as "...James and his wife John"?

Grateful if someone could answer my queeries?

Because they are two men. Therefore they are each others husbands and should be referred to as Mr and Mr. It's not complicated Peter for crying out loud, in 2015 why do people snigger at this?

Oh its the same old reason. People hate other people being happier and more successful than themselves and therefore wish to find some other stick to try and break them down.

[SupermarketShrimp]

just two things(queries) with me and same sex couples adopting and potentially having kids.

1.] just think it's unfair on the kid, and fear the kid may be bullied through life and could grow up resentful of his adopted parents, or have mental issues due to the bullying or the feeling of being different to other kids.

2.] Morally with Women having test tube babies by giving birth to a child without making a baby naturally with a member of the opposite sex, it just doesn't seem right, although in time i'll probably get my head around it.

Oh my god. I wasn't even aware these attitudes still existed - its right up there for when a couple of my friends at primary school were asked to take more British sounding first names as teachers and parents thought it might be "confusing".

[SupermarketShrimp]

1.] just think it's unfair on the kid, and fear the kid may be bullied through life and could grow up resentful of his adopted parents, or have mental issues due to the bullying or the feeling of being different to other kids.

I can absolutely assure you, a child growing up in a loving, 'same-sex parents' environment will be far more stable & mentally healthy than a child growing up in a dysfunctional but 'traditional' family. Sadly, some of them may indeed experience bullying. But I'd suggest that the poor parenting of the bullies should concern society more than that of a loving gay/lesbian couple.

They'll experience bullying in all levels of life, whether they have gay parents, they're obese, wear glasses or support a mid table League 2 football side. This is the "University of Life" that people chant on about when others have strived to get good results in academia.

People don't like to see people happier than them and will find excuses to pour their own negativity on them to create an edge of superiority over them.

Change "Gay" for "Black" or "White" or "Polish" or "African". There's no difference.

[SupermarketShrimp]

its not twisted at all, we are a multicultural society, still have a lot of old fashioned folk, as well as certain religious groups, and migrants from eastern Europe and middle east etc what do not tolerate this behaviour or practices.

imagine a same sex couple with children on some rough housing estate like one or two I could mention around here, i'm sure life would be like a bed of roses?

just being realistic, not saying its right, there is a lot to think of before the powers that be, make any decisions.

If you think that any of the housing estates around Lancaster/Morecambe are remotely "rough" then I suggest you have a look at some of our bigger cities. Same sex couples with kids do fine.

Do you think your kids might struggle to make friends with a black kid? What about if his name was Zbigniew? What would your opinion be if you son/daughter in their teens said that they were gay or brought back someone of "the wrong colour"?

A completely stupid argument.

[George Dawes]

its not twisted at all, we are a multicultural society, still have a lot of old fashioned folk, as well as certain religious groups, and migrants from eastern Europe and middle east etc what do not tolerate this behaviour or practices.

imagine a same sex couple with children on some rough housing estate like one or two I could mention around here, i'm sure life would be like a bed of roses?

just being realistic, not saying its right, there is a lot to think of before the powers that be, make any decisions.

If you think that any of the housing estates around Lancaster/Morecambe are remotely "rough" then I suggest you have a look at some of our bigger cities. Same sex couples with kids do fine.


Do you think your kids might struggle to make friends with a black kid? What about if his name was Zbigniew? What would your opinion be if you son/daughter in their teens said that they were gay or brought back someone of "the wrong colour"?

A completely stupid argument.

you're counter argument is stupid,

Same sex couples with kids do fine.

have you any proof?

and no I don't think them estates are remotely rough(gangs), compared to major citys, but bullying is bullying, if somebody's life is being made hell, its doesn't matter if it South London, Moss-Side, South Shields, Gorbels & Easterhouse(both Glasgow), Birkenhead, Becontree, Wythenshawe.


oh and why single out a black kid? why not a Irish or Cross-Eyed Friend or somebody over weight with Ginger hair?

[Shrimpy]

Same sex couples with kids do fine.

have you any proof?

Have you any proof that they don't?

[Keith]

[
you're counter argument is stupid,

Same sex couples with kids do fine.

have you any proof?

Anecdotal admittedly, but I've known a few people who were brought up in a same sex parent family and they are all fine, decent people. I've also had quite a few people disclose sexual abuse to me that involved family members. Not one of those were in a family with same sex parents. I have no doubts whatsoever that my earlier comment is right, a child in a loving environment with same sex parents will grow up much happier than an unloved child in an environment with 'traditional' parents.

oh and why single out a black kid? why not a Irish or Cross-Eyed Friend or somebody over weight with Ginger hair?

PRECISELY HIS POINT!!! Why are you saying that kids will come to harm in a same sex relationship more than kids who are bullied for other reasons? When I was a kid, there was a lad I knew who had tried to bleach his skin to become white due to the bullying he received. Would you have suggested that black people shouldn't have had children so as to avoid the kids becoming victims of bullies or would you want to change the attitudes of the thugs who do the bullying?

[George Dawes]

PRECISELY HIS POINT!!!

sick of people just using Black people as examples, and often ignoring others. it's also alienating and patronizing. it would get on my nerves if I was Black.

Anyway back on topic, A Mother & Father of a Child have different qualities that they bring to a family. Their differences complement each other, and important for a child's upbringing. what you want get in a single-sex relationship. There is more than enough evidence in the world to show that a loving Mother (female) & Father (male), is still the best option in bringing a child up, its tried and trusted.


Although in the USA in some states same sex couple can adopt Children, I would say lets wait a few years and see how things go, things are moving to fast for the UK & Ireland at the moment as a whole.

[Keith]

Probably only one way for this thread to go, so I'll let you have last word.