Living next door to Party Central I often get woken by laughs, shrieks and general malarky noise, imagine my surprize to be woken up by a pissed renditon of Silent Night in German.Thought I was my Grandad in the trenches on the Somme for a minute, I didn't think Germans were allowed to celebrate Christmas, don't know why just seems such an English thing.
I see we play Wigan in a minute, takes me back to the 60's and 70's Northern Premier league. they nearly always beat us and look at them now eh! Good luck to em I say. I met Ellery Hanley at Balmain Leagues Club once, surrounded by very attractive ladies he was, I chatted up a few by default like, I'm with the brother etc. Did that at the closing ceremony of the 2000 olympics, the drag show had just finished and I saw this amazing looking brother who turned out to be a French basketball player (I think), hanging near him in my plus 4's ( I was part of the Greg Norman float) everyone was kissing everyone goodbye and hello all at the same time, Naturally the Brethren got some mighty fine sheilas coming his way and yours truly managed to intrcept loads of em what a night.
Talking of nights only 2 more sleeps left until HE comes down the chimney, ( cue infantile santa jokes which still make me smile). I remember a tangerine and an apple and a toy from the Trimpell kids xmas party, we used to play Britsh Bull dog across that huge room.
This xmas Miss 12 is getting a macbook, FFS and PS3 stuff, load of bollocks and Xmas has become too commercial. We all say that don't we ooh it's too commercial, is it bollox, it's always been commercial it's just too commercial when we have to pay.
Noticed a few posters being inflammatory and not in the spirit of the season, why do that when within an hour they get zapped, day shift by the pommies and night shift by the Septic and mesen. No don't thank us, all part of our agreement to keep the board a friendly place, mind if theres a spare beer going, lovely jubbly, My plumber is a londoner and honestly he says that, unblocking shite and sanitary stuff from the sheilas kasi the other day he starts the old Delboy act, I just walked away and left him talking to himself.
Wonder what I'm getting for Xmas, oh I know, some undies (Calvins and everyone makes the same joke, oh Calvins very stylish and they laugh, whats so funny about me in Calvins) Some after shave usually a good one CK1, in fact I might as well change my name to Calvin then I won't have to write my name on my stuff. A novel, a tangerine and an apple. I was in the Gordon Club one Christmas Day, this other fella was at our table we were very slightly merry, next thing his Accy slapper of a wife came in and dumped his xmas dinner in his lap, turkey, the lot, he just sat there, I was so embarressed for him, mind I was and trying not to let everyone see me, poor guy, fair play to him off he went to the bog, cleaned himself up and bought a round, I often wonder what happened to him when he got home.
I only ever got pissed one christmas, her indoors went balistic ( her indoors what am I some kind of Cockney plumber??), she told me if I ever did tht again she'd chop my balls off.
Me and her dad got leathered, ate dinner and fell asleep, ooh look at dad having a snooze enjoying xmas, ooh look at that drunken swine I'll kill him when he gets up, fucking bitch.
Looks like the neighbours have all packed up and gone to bed, going to start my leaf blower at 7.00 am (legal time), turn the radio up open all my windows and sing at the top of my base baritone vocce. Lord Lloyd webbers stuff really pisses them off.
When they come to complain I always say fucken ze offen don't give me that we're trying to sleep, I was trying to sleep at 3.30 but oh no some Silent nacht was invading my space, my good Lord is going to invade yours.
Got pilly wissed ( slightly inebriated) with Lord Lloyd Webber one night in Chinatown, great nosebag (food, think horse) excellent wine and brandy and he paid for the lot, mind he could afford to, he'd just been dumped by that Slapper who sang starship trooper. I would.
Right then a gutsy point at Luton, a few more points over the holiday period will do very nicely thank you.
My love to you and yours, have a safe Chanuka or Christmas whatever your persuasion be.
See you in the Chat room soon.