New football book - you may enjoy this

[Posh]

From the clearly excellent new book Real Football, Real Fans http://www.realfootballrealfans.com/index.html. You can buy online.

In the book authour William Barr travels to last season's game at Christie Park v Bury. Here is an excerpt from the book and what a superb one it is. Can you spot Negative Ned?

"Another squall of rain whipped across the ground. At the back of the Car Wash Terrace was an advertising board showing a mob of kangaroos hopping across a sunny beach, oblivious to the soaking they were getting. In front of the North Stand seven very young cheer girls were shrinking down into their red tops, with hands almost too cold to hold onto their pom-poms. With ten minutes to go before kick-off the Shrimpettes swung into their routine. Their trainer and two even more diminutive apprentice Shrimpettes danced on the touchline to lead the troupe, and also to keep warm. The routine ended with the young ones rushing on and the enlarged group forming three pyramids which swayed precariously in the wind.

With five minutes to go the crowd joined Morecambe and Wise singing along to ‘Bring me sunshine, bring me smiles’, and the Shrimpettes sprinted up the pitch to do some more shivering as guards of honour to the players. The players ran on and a special cheer was given to Morecambe’s keeper, Joe Lewis, back after a severe head injury and sporting a rugby scrumcap. The Bury team jogged about while the home side went into a huddle to give themselves a few more seconds’ shelter from the biting wind.

Bury kicked off, persevering with their embarrassing starting formation of two players standing together on the left touchline as if preparing for a lineout. The ball was played back and then kicked high in the direction of the touchline two. Neither got within sniffing distance of it, and they quickly returned to their normal positions.

The home crowd in the North Stand cracked into their well-rehearsed song cycle, finishing with my granny’s personal favourite of ‘Who the fucking hell are you?’ to the tune of ‘Bread of Heaven’. The substantial contingent of Bury supporters in the Umbro Stand made no response, being entirely secure in their own identities. Joe Lewis threw his great frame fearlessly at the feet of Bury’s Glynn Hurst, while at the other end Damien Allen’s fierce drive was saved, juggled and eventually caught by Bury’s keeper Jim Provett.

During a brief stoppage Sammy McIlroy emerged from his dugout and issued a set of new instructions to his players. I have no idea what he said, but the effect was magical. Suddenly, on a bracing November afternoon, his team started to produce an exhibition of flowing and attacking football. It was as if Morecambe had morphed into San Paolo. With the drummer in the North Stand providing the samba beat, Morecambe full back Adam Yates sprinted down the wing, Michael Twiss joined in and the Bury penalty area was strafed with accurate crosses. When they ran into traffic, they pinged the ball over to the left wing and the mayhem continued on the other flank.

Bury had come to Morecambe on the back of a good run after a poor start to the season, and had lost just once in twelve games. Nevertheless they were shredded by the speed and flair of the Morecambe attacks. After eleven minutes Adam Yates made an overlapping run down the right. His cross was flicked on by David Artell, and the Shrimps’ skipper Jim Bentley volleyed home a sharp chance. The home crowd cheered and celebrated, not just the goal but also the creativity of the play that had led to it. A gloomy man behind muttered darkly that another goal was needed as Bury were sure to come back. It was true that Bury were dangerous on their few breakaway chances, but Morecambe keeper Joe Lewis was dominant in his area and immaculate in his handling.

After another fifteen minutes of total football by Morecambe the inevitable second goal came. Once again the attack came down the right side. This time the ball was played back to Michael Twiss. As he ran towards the Bury penalty area the home supporters shouted ‘Shoot!’. And he did, a left-footed rocket which flashed past Jim Provett before he could react to it. The gloomy man behind prophesied dire consequences and the need for several more goals to be safe, while the rest of us celebrated with gusto.

Bury had their keeper to thank that the game was not totally beyond them by half-time. He saved David Artell’s near-post flick, and reached high to the top left hand corner to tip Carl Baker’s curling shot over for a corner. It was not to be Carl’s lucky day. Bury’s Ben Futcher hit a long ball up field, only to find that the path up field was blocked by the Baker groin. Morecambe’s No.10 fell to the ground, clutching his nether regions in an ecstasy of pain. Every man in the Main Stand took an intake of breath and crossed his legs in empathy, and then giggled to relieve the tension. The trainer came on and applied a great jet of magic spray to the place where magic spray should never go. Carl’s eyes opened as wide as saucers and he got up and limped away, anything to avoid another jet of that reviving application.

For Morecambe it was fiesta football again. Left back Danny Adams was getting in on the act, powering down the wing and making overlaps with Jon Newby. Somehow, Bury held out for the rest of the half. When the whistle went to end it the relief was etched on the faces of the Bury team and management and the home team received a standing ovation.

In his comments after the game Sammy McIlroy described the performance of his team in the first half as the best 45 minutes of football he had ever seen at this level. In my view it was a performance which would have been a credit to any Championship side. How is it that such wonderful over-performance can be conjured out of Morecambe’s team without a single Ferrari to their names, and yet such dismal dross is continually served up by our superstars at international level?

[P/T Indie]

"After eleven minutes Adam Yates made an overlapping run down the right. His cross was flicked on by David Artell, and the Shrimps’ skipper Jim Bentley volleyed home a sharp chance."


Now here explains what is wrong this year. All the players mentioned in the passage are still with us it is not as if it was Baker or Thommo creating the chance. Yates created a great chance (who was dropped and trying to be moved on at the start of the season) and then we had players actually up and in the box which also seems a rare thing this season.

Now to be fair since the start of the 5-3-1 we have started getting down the wings more but we still aren't getting people in the box as much.

Also we don't have the players to create overlaps at the moment and although we now have a bit of width with yates back on one side we need someone else to do the same on the other side.

[Welshrimp]

Now here explains what is wrong this year.

Not really. I'd be alarmed if Arts and Jimbo made a habit of placing themselves in those sorts of positions, unless it was for a corner.

It is true that we are slow to attack from midfield, and that when we do so we too often have nobody waiting back to pick up defensive clearances. But Yatesey has been putting the balls in (since he's been back in the side). So has Wainers, and even more so (when he was here) McGivern. We've also been trying to play more through the middle which is, I think, a welcome development and something that suits Rene's game, but here we've been less consistent, at least in telling situations.

Things are coming together now. Looking back to last year's style of play isn't necessarily what we should be doing given that we have different types of player up front.