Shrimpsvoices

Apologies to any Irish people and if you've already heard it.

Paddy Murphy was sent on his way to Heaven. Upon his arrival, a concerned St Peter met Paddy at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry Paddy' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'
'That's alright' said Paddy. 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'

'Just 3 Questions' said St Peter.

'Which are?' asked Paddy.

St Peter said, 'The 1st question is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?

The second is: How many seconds are there in a year?

The third is: What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'

So Paddy went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same ).

The following morning, St Peter called upon Paddy and asked if he had considered the questions, to which Paddy replied, 'I have.'

'Well then, 'said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'

Paddy said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

St. Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then Paddy, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?' Paddy replied, 'Just 12!'

'Only 12?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure Paddy?'

'Easy' said Paddy, 'there's the second of January, the second of February right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at Paddy and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later St Peter returned to Paddy. 'I'll allow the answer to stand Paddy, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven.

Now Paddy, can you tell me the answer to the name of the jolly swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

Paddy replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'

'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer, Paddy?'

'It's Andy.'

'Andy??'

'Yes, Andy' said Paddy.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to Paddy, asked 'Paddy, how in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'

'Easy' said Paddy 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his Billy boiled.'