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Ramblings of a Lunatic (Rated M.A sexual refs etc)

PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 1:31 pm
by Aspers
8-)

Greetings and welcome to my lunatic ramblings.
Regular S.V’ers know how I like to spout dribble and expostulate on bugger all so to any newbies who are wondering what the whatever, hello.
Unfortunately I have imbibed on 1 Tasmanian beer this evening, not nearly enough to be a witty and funny ramble but 1 will try.
In the words of Nan from the Catherine Tate show ‘What a load of f&*^*)& Bo&*^*. I mean England are doing shizen in ze Vorld Cup, I rectum germany will win.
In fact its about time we all started talking German and just do what Hitler wanted all those years ago and become a part of Germany.
At this stage I would like to say I in no way condone any of Hitllers actions, I am and will always be appalled at his actions. I have no beef against the Jewish race and I have had sex with many Jewish ladies. It just seems that Germany does everything correctly, I mean in High Schools they make the students clean their teeth after lunch!!., Talking of shiny teeth how big was Christiano’s embarrassed smile after his goal against Korea (DPKR, not the free lot). Jammy bugger. Craig Johnson was on TV here saying how he enjoyed Portugal’s attacking style, not knowing that the whole DPKR football team are to be put to death at the end of the tourney.
I have this huge moth trying to gain access to my abode through the closed window, he’s a big bugger and eyeing me up for brekkie, I will go to bed tonight with a smile and a can of Mozzie Kill (kills spiders and moths as well). Mozzie mofo make my day.
I’m sure the fixtures have come out, not that I have any plans to come home soon, although a spiritualist told me I was to accept a job in England in my home and be very successful, look out Sammy.
Just bought a boat on ebay for $1500.00, the guy at the Marina offered me $2.5K, I was about to sell, until she who must stopped the transaction. Bloody women, why can’t they know their place. (Obvious my bitch doesn’t read SV!)
The T.T. week has finished, cue my brother in law and his mad mate Darrell saying 1 day they will go, cue me saying, take a tent I know someone who’s a marshall, you can camp in his backyard!!.
Strange really, name dropping Keith and people being impressed, talking of name dropping, Pamela yes bitches Pamela Anderson is in Oz doing Dancing with the stars, she is booked to rehearse at my studios next week.
What do you think, do I ask for an autograph or a wank?. Maybe both she can sign my willie, probably big enough for her initials in lower case.
Well my lovelies South Avrica V France about to start, I do hope the Cheese eating surrender monkeys get a severe tonking but I doubt it.
My love to you and yours.

Aspers 8-)

Re: Ramblings of a Lunatic (Rated M.A sexual refs etc)

PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 3:57 pm
by Keith
Aspers wrote:The T.T. week has finished, cue my brother in law and his mad mate Darrell saying 1 day they will go, cue me saying, take a tent I know someone who’s a marshall, you can camp in his backyard!!.
Strange really, name dropping Keith and people being impressed...


Surely "I know a press photographer" would carry more weight? Mind you, I'd agree that it's strange anyone dropping my name!

Actually, I think I'm an 'ex-press photographer' :cry: The Visitor didn't use any of my photos this year, perhaps in part because John didn't win anything, although they had a couple of photos. Trouble is, your supposed to show some of your stuff in print to get a pass the following year so we'll see what my blagging skills are like next June!

For the John fans, the stuff the Visitor didn't want...

ImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImage

Re: Ramblings of a Lunatic (Rated M.A sexual refs etc)

PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 4:50 pm
by captain sparkle
Ye gods!
I can see why they didn't want them!!



















:lol:
I'll be updating me camera sooner or later, will be seeking your advice, oh wondrous one!
OY-multitasking?
2 forii at once?

Re: Ramblings of a Lunatic (Rated M.A sexual refs etc)

PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 5:01 pm
by Keith
If you look carefully at the second shot, you'll see John is so good at the TT that he can do it with his eyes closed! :shock: 8-) :lol: :lol: :lol:

Image

captain sparkle wrote:I'll be updating me camera sooner or later, will be seeking your advice, oh wondrous one!
OY-multitasking?
2 forii at once?


Forii? Plural of 'forum' or 'an insult to spectacle wearers'?

Canon.

There, that narrowed things down for you!

Re: Ramblings of a Lunatic (Rated M.A sexual refs etc)

PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 8:41 pm
by Aspers
Surely "I know a press photographer" would carry more weight?


You have no idea how much I am going to use that! :lol:
I'll let you know when My brother in law and his mate come over next weekend.
I'll direct them to your website.

Re: Ramblings of a Lunatic (Rated M.A sexual refs etc)

PostPosted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 9:10 am
by Fallowfield Shrimp
Loving the Tasmanian fuelled ramblings.

You must get a photo of you with Pammy with either of you wearing a Morecambe shirt. That would be ace. Just don't get one as she's giving you that autograph you seek. That would be amazing for you, but less good for the rest of us.

Good work squire

Re: Ramblings of a Lunatic (Rated M.A sexual refs etc)

PostPosted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 11:39 am
by scar
As always Aspers, your ramblings are a welcome read..... but...
Aspers wrote:I have had sex with many Jewish ladies.
Jewish girls, I really didn't know you had a penchant for Jewish Girls!!!

Aspers wrote:Pamela Anderson...............What do you think, do I ask for an autograph or a wank?.
Tell her your a close friend of Borat's and would she like to Marry you instead?