Shrimpsvoices

Morecambe Football Club have called an important meeting for all fans prior to this Thursday's match.

The club, volcano excepted, have arranged at very short notice to fly in Dr Herman Spengler, the pre-emminent Austrian psychologist, psychiatrist and uber Brainmeister.

Fans can meet in the club car park at any time from Tuesday at 9am until 5pm and again on the Wednesday and Thursday. Fans will be taken in groups of 20 into JB's bar where Dr Spengler and his lab team will erase all fans memories of Sunday 16 May with gigantic mind rubbers.

Rather than be left with a collective sense of amnesia fans will be given the choice of replacing their previous memories with:

a/ the smell of spring flowers, the sound of children laughing merrily, a sense of unrivalled well-being, a beautiful sunset over Morecambe Bay and Peter Devine's penalty miss for Lancaster City against Whitley Bay to bring laughter to their hearts.

b/ A memory of your choice created specially by Dr Spengler's assistant Frauhlein Menufthecowntee.

Given the lack of time to get this arranged the club have requested fans to post below what their preferred new memories will be. All messages and this entire board will be erased too. So please let us know what memories you'd like to be created for you.

Memories of minibuses full of idiots driving around, please, Dr.
I had some, but i've lost them.

It's okay, the doctor's services will not be required in my case, as after I had clapped the dagenham players off the pitch yesterday I had some memory erasing therapy from Mr Foster, followed by Mr Carling and then Mr's White and Mackay. cheers for the generous offer though, but I have absolutely no idea what you're refering to.

Is there a remote download available so that I can remember watching "It's a Wonderful Life" on Sunday afternoon? That memory would help explain the tears too.

some opera singing at kingstonian mike