Shrimpsvoices

Local Samaritan volunteers are currently in shock to find their tried and tested methods of rebuilding people’s confidence by demonstrating proof positive results has now been challenged by a number of SV posters.

According to a number of SV Lemmings (you know the one’s), commenting on the Shrimps worst pre-season results since we played at Woodhill Lane are adamant it is not the manager’s fault as his only responsibilities in addition to signing and training players are results.
SV Lemmings maintain that confidence and winning are over-rated expressions that have no place in our football team, it is their belief that players with no pace will acquire some in the next 5 days, those past their sell by date will come good with black magic, the lack of clean sheets are nothing to do with our back 4 who are good players because they used to be.

We are now being told everything will be fine when the injured players are back (they always say that). I would suggest that unless the manager sorts it then the club’s policy of `no blame culture’ will be severely tested.

Carol has the answer

Simply Ned wrote:Local Samaritan volunteers are currently in shock to find their tried and tested methods of rebuilding people’s confidence by demonstrating proof positive results has now been challenged by a number of SV posters.

According to a number of SV Lemmings (you know the one’s), commenting on the Shrimps worst pre-season results since we played at Woodhill Lane are adamant it is not the manager’s fault as his only responsibilities in addition to signing and training players are results.
SV Lemmings maintain that confidence and winning are over-rated expressions that have no place in our football team, it is their belief that players with no pace will acquire some in the next 5 days, those past their sell by date will come good with black magic, the lack of clean sheets are nothing to do with our back 4 who are good players because they used to be.

We are now being told everything will be fine when the injured players are back (they always say that). I would suggest that unless the manager sorts it then the club’s policy of `no blame culture’ will be severely tested.

0.1 OUT OF 10

Simply Ned wrote:Local Samaritan volunteers are currently in shock to find their tried and tested methods of rebuilding people’s confidence by demonstrating proof positive results has now been challenged by a number of SV posters.

According to a number of SV Lemmings (you know the one’s), commenting on the Shrimps worst pre-season results since we played at Woodhill Lane are adamant it is not the manager’s fault as his only responsibilities in addition to signing and training players are results.
SV Lemmings maintain that confidence and winning are over-rated expressions that have no place in our football team, it is their belief that players with no pace will acquire some in the next 5 days, those past their sell by date will come good with black magic, the lack of clean sheets are nothing to do with our back 4 who are good players because they used to be.

We are now being told everything will be fine when the injured players are back (they always say that). I would suggest that unless the manager sorts it then the club’s policy of `no blame culture’ will be severely tested.

Any cretin who knows anything about football knows not to take pre-season too seriously.

I vote we make Ned the manager of Morecambe FC.

..even I on a bad day couldn't have writen that load of complete bollocks.

I wonder why you continue to fork out your gate money if all you can ever do is to bad mouth the lads and the management!

I'd gladly contribute to a fund that will buy you a season ticket elsewhere.....hell I'd even pay you travelling expences....out of my JSA!

durhamshrimp wrote:

Simply Ned wrote:Local Samaritan volunteers are currently in shock to find their tried and tested methods of rebuilding people’s confidence by demonstrating proof positive results has now been challenged by a number of SV posters.

According to a number of SV Lemmings (you know the one’s), commenting on the Shrimps worst pre-season results since we played at Woodhill Lane are adamant it is not the manager’s fault as his only responsibilities in addition to signing and training players are results.
SV Lemmings maintain that confidence and winning are over-rated expressions that have no place in our football team, it is their belief that players with no pace will acquire some in the next 5 days, those past their sell by date will come good with black magic, the lack of clean sheets are nothing to do with our back 4 who are good players because they used to be.

We are now being told everything will be fine when the injured players are back (they always say that). I would suggest that unless the manager sorts it then the club’s policy of `no blame culture’ will be severely tested.

Any cretin who knows anything about football knows not to take pre-season too seriously.

I vote we make Ned the manager of Morecambe FC.

I agree he clearly knows more about football than anyone else I am sure if he came in with his backroom staff it would be no time at all before we are hosting great team like Bamber bridge and chorley

oh now come on guys, that was a wonderful Ned post, especially with his addition of an avitar! Brilliant stuff classic Ned!

Keith wrote:oh now come on guys, that was a wonderful Ned post, especially with his addition of an avitar! Brilliant stuff classic Ned!

I'm still convinced its someone on the wind up. Nobody can be that thick surely.

Ned, you are now officially my favourite member of SV. I find your posts refreshing in a sea of conformity and long may you continue. Anyone who continually gets a reaction of extreme hypocrisy from CC is ok in my book

Ironic that his avitar is a two dimensional cartoon character.

'Ned' is a work of fiction by someone with a warped sense of humour. No one could be that wrong all the time unless its intentional.

The last three years is littered with Robert / Negative Ned / Simply Neds predictions and warnings of doom, gloom and destruction (most famously when he declared the season over and called for the sacking of Sammy in October of the season we were later promoted).

Not once has he been right.

Not once has he found any positives in what is sought to be acheived by the Club.

Not once has he held his hand up and said sorry for the hurtful things he has said about the management and the players, when proved wrong yet again (relegation battle predicted last season).

He is famous for disappearing when the results are good (only to pop back up again when there is an opportunity to criticise)

Ned is attention seeker of the highest order, and I do believe a wind up merchant who trys to hook as many as he can. I reckon he gets off on it. Seriously.

Surely no fan can seriously harbour the dark thoughts that he does, and actually come across as gleeful when things are not going smoothly? Who seriously predicts a poor season on the back of a set of pre season freindlies? Seriously? Worst set of pre season results since Woodhill Lane? - What on Earth is that meant to demonstrate?

I dont find his posts refreshing. There is nothing clever about taking an opposite viewpoint just for the sake of it. That is not a sign of intelligence, its a sign of someone who craves the spotlight. I find that a little sad.

There is nothing clever about taking an opposite viewpoint just for the sake of it. That is not a sign of intelligence, its a sign of someone who craves the spotlight.

Did I tell you about the time I shagged Samantha Fox

I think Ned is brilliant at what he does and how he does it, i think he has a wicked sense of humour and the way he gets you lot to bite EVERY time he posts something is hilarious, carry on posting your stuff Ned you'll do for me !!!!!

Christies Child wrote:I wonder why you continue to fork out your gate money if all you can ever do is to bad mouth the lads and the management!

Does he pay?

Abbo wrote:I think Ned is brilliant at what he does and how he does it, i think he has a wicked sense of humour and the way he gets you lot to bite EVERY time he posts something is hilarious, carry on posting your stuff Ned you'll do for me !!!!!

Do you know what Abbo? You are right. No more biting from me.

Mark S,
im sure pigs will fly before that happens ha ha

durhamshrimp wrote:

Keith wrote:oh now come on guys, that was a wonderful Ned post, especially with his addition of an avitar! Brilliant stuff classic Ned!

I'm still convinced its someone on the wind up. Nobody can be that thick surely.

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=2414&p=27824#p27824
Well yeah, he is.

Anyone reckon it could be Jimbo or Mark Lillis on the wind-up?

Aspers wrote:

There is nothing clever about taking an opposite viewpoint just for the sake of it. That is not a sign of intelligence, its a sign of someone who craves the spotlight.

Did I tell you about the time I shagged Samantha Fox

Always thought you was a bloke aspers , or was it that bad she turned into a rug muncher ( alledgedly)

bill ding wrote:Always thought you was a bloke aspers , or was it that bad she turned into a rug muncher ( alledgedly)

After Aspers, no other bloke would do apparently...

The only thing that saddens me is Ned only posts the topic, he never comes back to discuss it which could make this forum so much more fun
Why not elaborate Ned on your first post, and also some reactions to others post in your thread?

Weetabix Kid wrote:Anyone reckon it could be Jimbo or Mark Lillis on the wind-up?

It won't be Jim cos his avator would be more like this: