Ramblings of a Lunatic (Rated M)

[Aspers]

I see Gordon Ramsey is in trouble down under, makes me sick, oohh lets jump on the PC band wagon and have a go at the Sexist Racist Cook.
1st thing, I couldn't give a flying fig about Gordon Ramsey.
Word over here is he put the word on the interviewer, and asked for a shag, she refused him rather harshly, he thought he'd trash her reputation and it backfired. No biggie, fess up Gordon, oh you can't your MARRIED what a Tosser, grow up son.
If your going to cheat on your wife with an Australian try Jennifer Hawkins or Sophie Monk, not Tracy Grimshaw. Gordon ramsey is GUILTY of a serious error of judgement, I've never done owt like that, perect I am.
I see there's been a huge explosion in Pakistan, I wonder what it would take to stop the fighting there?. I don't think all this killing achieves much, about time women and puffs ruled the world.
Imagine the headlines. HANDBAG WAR IN KOREA. Outside the John Inman repositary today Ju Pung Pink threw a handbag at leader, fuk yu puf in solid defiance of the stance by Korean Government to ban Paris Hiltons new single etc. etc.

Fabio (Jimmy Hillish chinnish) Capello is going to qualify England for the World Cup. May I share with you darlings.
That beautiful lady who works in the canteen under the main stand could have qualified England for the next stage with the draw they got in the group. Now some of you think i am belittling the lady who works the tea stand I'm not, I'm ridiculing the FA even I could've done it and I am hardly as good at football selection as the above mentioned lady (Fuck I think I got out of that 1).

The Australian dance Awards last week I was not even nominated, what a load of bollox even Pink knows I'm the Daddy when it comes to Australian dance. Bastards I may have to sponsor my own section next year.
Your hero namely me, is coming out of retirement, soon I'll let you know.
The board is shaking like crazy so i guess its time for me to quit.
Toodles and love
Aspers.
P.S Follow the day to day twitterings of the Austrakian Entertainment Industry on Twitter.
look for BigBadWayne
or Wayne Aspinall

[Sammy h]

How did the Aussies get on in the cricket yesterday?

[Aspers]

Austrakian

Not to be confused with Australian

Not very good Sammy, HAHA!!