Ramblings of a Lunatic.

[Aspers]

I wonder why the Mosquito was invented or evolved, surely there must be some other reason for its existance other than to munch on me. Surely science could come up with a way to eradicate them, not that I'm complaining oh no, I mean I quite enjoy being woken at 1.44am by being eaten alive by the little buggers.
Had a General Anasthetic last Monday for the 1 st time, don't they take that seriously?, hooked up to a machine that goes ping, I dreamed about Whales dancing, I think the Morphine had something to do with that though. Many years ago I was helping lift a piano, felt a pain in my stomach, low and behold our hero had a hernia, bloody painful to get fixed, although a week off work enjoying my new penthouse apartment and watching sport all day is helping me recouperate.
I came across a magazine article about an old mate of mine long since dead called Jeffrey Barnard.
Jeff was a scribe of some considerable note, a chronic alcoholic and subsequently a diabetic. I remember 1 night going into the toilets of the Coach and Horses and seeing Jeff slumped in a diabetic/ alcoholic type stupor, we gave him a cup of Englands finest and I offered to take him the UCH (hospital) he snorted, told me to F&^%$ Off and had another drink, a giant of a man was Jeff. Anyway this article was saying what a decent chap he was etc, what a load of bollox, the Jeff I knew, shouted at tourists and was a grumpy old bstard, he once threw a drink at me for saying horse racing was a crooked sport, I did like him though. They made a play about him and a part of his life, called "Jeffrey Barnard is unwell", his Spectator column used to say this when Jeff was too pissed to write it, HA!

So I've inherited these plants, One of thems as tall as Bazza and just as imposing, been teaching myself to look after them on the Internet, I also have a herb garden with Basil, Chilly and Parsley, going to add some mint, ooh look at me I know herbs.

i have this middle aged mans passion for cooking, I watch all the shows and Mrs Aspers bought me a set of Jamie Oliver pans (On special at Grace Bros.) Talking of Grace Bros, I see Wendy Richards passed on, I met her when she was on East Enders, she came to the 1st night of some Musical I was in (TIME I think), I was having a chat with her and what a pleasant and enchanting lady she was, still fit as well, I, of course tried the old Morecambe 1-2 on her but was knocked back (sensible lady). May she rest in peace, last time I saw her on TV was in that series Benidorm when she had that fight with Madge?, very funny scene.
10 games without a defeat, watching Setanta and seeing Morecambe spelt correctly and in full every time top of league 2 comes up still gives me a proud feeling.

Cousin Jimmy's over from Kilmarnock, we're having a 'do' for him tomorrow night at ours, thats all I need, mad Scottish rellies running amok, they'll drink all my scotch, in fact I'll be living in a temperate house by the time the do's finished, I bet even the cooking sherry's gone.
I'll get the Guitar out and we'll sing the songs about hame, By the bonnie Banks of Loch Lomond, Donald wheres your trousers, Glasgae belongs to me, oh yes a right old Celtic knees up, there'll be the old dears crying, I may even wear a kilt.
I did a highland fling last Scottish Party we had at Ann and Jim's, I remembered it from Grade 4 ballet, wasn't I the darling of the over 50's, Old Robert will grab me round the shoulders and slurrr... "for a sassenach your alright" over and over, indeed a plethora of culture and bonhommie for me tomorrow. (Pretentious MOI!!).

The Bushfires in Victoria are almost out, what a hammering that part of Gods great Garden took, it looks like Dresden after the bombing, The floods in Queensland are receeding, lots of amazing concerts to raise funds for them are on, we've done a couple.
2nd car alarm of the night just gone off, how annoyingis that, its woken the birds who are now screaming. and all of a sudden its gone quiet.
Tonight is now getting surreal, I think I'm falling into the twilight zone, my head feels light and everythings hazy, must be Morpheus coming to visit,'Sleep well.

Panadeine Forte mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

[Gnasher]

Excellent as usual, now you just need to read your PMs to brighten up (our) Saturday