Just because I didn’t want to go ‘shopping’ with her.
I was too shagged out after a mammoth New Years Eve.
Auckland got the 1st go at NYE but failed miserably with a piss poor showing and a few bangers and Catherine wheels let off from the top of Auckland tower, Thanks New Zealand, last 1 out feed the pigs.
Then it was the turn of mighty Sydney, the old Coat hanger (as we affectionally call the Harbour Bridge) did Sydney proud, a plethora of explosion and celebration of life all displayed on the finest Harbour in the World. I bet you all watched it and thought wow I bet Aspers is there having a ball with Paris, well you’d be correct on both counts. I left the VIP section of the Opera house forecourt around 12.30am and went to catch up with some of my dancers who were performing at Paris’s party in the Cross.
Flashed my Access all areas pass and moseyed on along to the VIP section.
Let me tell you in the flesh she looks mighty fine, I got introduced to her, she smiled at me and I said you are beautiful, welcome to Sydney and Happy New Year, I bent forward raised her hand to my lips and kissed her hand, she smiled and said (I kid you not) “That’s Hot”, Now I’ve seen a few vids of Paris and I hope she’s washed her hands, it was obvious she wanted me by the way she ignored me all night. You can just tell.
Got home about 7.00am undressed downstairs put my clothes in the laundry went upstairs got in the shower and in she came, your up early love she says, aye says I thought I’d go down the beach for a swim.
What time did you get home, was it a good night all the questions I just said, you know I never have a good time when your not there, so I left early and came home to watch football.
Watching Sky News I saw all the New Years being celebrated throughout the world, the humanist in me thought maybe it would’ve been better if we’d spent the money on the poor nations than the fireworks. That lasted for 1 minute.
So here I am Party Central just kicking off, going to be a loud 1 I can tell, might have to go and job the loud mouthed Irish lad in a minute, I’m going to pause now and go on over, back soon.
Well I wasn’t made to feel very welcome, something about a leaf blower and early mornings, I’ve made about 20 water bombs to chuck into their party about 2 ish. I can be so petty sometimes.
My neighbours at number 56 had a humdinger of a holiday argument, he was shouting at her, she was screaming at him. That’s what happens when you’re forced to spend time with your spouse. You hardly see her during the year and all of a sudden Xmas and forced time together.
All of a sudden that shag that was so amazing all those years ago is a distant memory and you wonder where it all went wrong.
Aspers tip for a happy relationship, give in, she wins all the time, and keep your thoughts to yourself, no one can ever take them, even when I am being berated for some thing which I’m not guilty of (very rare, usually guilty as charged) it doesn’t matter my thoughts are of a Saturday afternoon at C.P. watching Morecambe win. Look suitably chastised and before the end of the day she’ll feel sorry for you and you may even get sympathy shag.
The kicker in any argument is after you’ve lost the argument, about 20 mins later offer her a cup of tea, works every time because women have that gene that makes them comforters, they can’t help it and hey if Brad Pitts not around to be the object of your spouses desire, you’re in.
I can’t believe we lost 4-0 to Bradford, in the chat room it was shocking, listening to the commentary we were all over the Forkshire Yuckers, I’m surprised Mark is still alive, last I heard he was about to shove his wrists in the microwave.
Isn’t it strange that on S.V we feel each others pain and when something happens to 1 of ours we all feel it, as I type I’m sending love to Elaine. And I don’t even like cats.
Mind if Paris would’ve asked me to stroke her cat, I’d have stroked away.
My kids have asked me to take them to the zoo tomorrow, may do Sydney zoo is pretty amazing, catch the ferry from Circular Quay (Opera House) straight across the harbour dock at the zoo and get chair lift to the top of the zoo and walk down to the ferry and back home for tea, about 5 hours in all, might just give them a ton, give the wife a monkey and kick back at the SCG in the members stand tomorrow, must wear 1 of my Yves Saint Laurent ties I got for Xmas. Sith Avrica beating Oz bloody beauty in my book, in fact that’s the plan for tomorrow. SCG at 10, home, pleasantly pissed by 7.
Right, Happy New Year, another 20 points before May and I’ll be happy.
Toodles.
. There will just be the two of us , my son is a big boy now (25 this year) does his own thing . I sem to remember Lord Nelson is around rocks area and has its own brewery. 
Ho-hum. Really odd, I've sat with more people as they die than I can remember but holding the cat as she went upsets me for days?