Shrimpsvoices

Oh, start a new thread why don't you!!??

whatr the difference between tottenham and a triangle?




a triangle has three points....

What's the difference between that and a very, very, very old joke.

A tourist is in North London one Saturday and he decides he would very much like to go to a football match, so he asks a man in the street if there are any local matches being played that afternoon.

"Well," replies the man, "the Arsenal ground is very close but they're playing away today. If you feel you really must see a match, the Tottenham ground is not that far away. You go straight down this road and you'll see two queues, a big queue and a small queue.

You should go to the small queue because the big one is for the fish and chip shop.


A man is sitting in a pub with his Jack Russell dog one Saturday afternoon. The football results are coming up on the television in the corner, "Liverpool 2, Tottenham Hotspur 1," reads the announcer in his normal, rather sedate, voice.

Suddenly the Jack Russell dog jumps up and shouts out, "Oh, no, not again."

The shocked landlord says, "That's amazing. Why did he say that when the result was announced that Tottenham lost?"

"Because he's a Spurs supporter," the dog's owner replies.

The landlord then asked what the dog says when Tottenham win a match, to which the man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him three years."


There was once a fanatical Spurs supporter who thought of nothing but football all day long. He talked about football, read about football, watched nothing but football on television and attended matches as often as he possibly could. At last his poor wife could. stand it no longer. One night she said, 'I honestly believe you love Spurs more than you love me!'

'Blimey,' said the fan, 'I love Hartlepool United more than I love you!'


Q: What is the difference between Spurs and the Bermuda triangle?

A: The bermuda triangle has three points.

another variation

Was in a pub last night, stood at the bar. Next to me, was a guy with the sweetest looking dog imaginable. When the Tottenham score was read out, his dog went fucking berserk. It started growling & barking, even tried to attack a few of the customers. I said. "F*****g hell mate, what's that all about"? He replied, "Oh he does that everytime Tottenham lose". I said, "Well whats he do when they win"? He replied, "F*** knows, I've only had him 6 months".

name the real Spurs players


1 Case Killer
2 Groin Bunked-civics
3 Christian Sieges
4 Lewdly King
5 Mullet Maize
6 Darren Undertone
7 Silence Amitotic
8 Gustavo Poet
9 Helper Posting
10 Frederic Keynote
11 Jonathan Blonder

Oh how the tables have turned
look on the bright side though,
it makes a change for West ham not being the butt of all jokes.



Im sure there could be a claim against west ham there for something

dave wilky wrote::lol:
Oh how the tables have turned
look on the bright side though,
it makes a change for West ham not being the butt of all jokes.



Im sure there could be a claim against west ham there for something

Tables turning? Seriously I have never been particularly conscious of many Spurs fans (and, of course, I can only look at this from one particular viewpoint so you may well have different experiences) being overly smug about anything that has befallen other similar teams to ourselves.
For my own part I know that our own fortunes have, over the years, been too fickle and unpredictable for us ever to get high and mighty about anyone else.

The top four are a different kettle of ball games, of course. By and large (and again, there are genuine exceptions) they enjoy crowing about their successes enough to merit as much flak as the rest of us can give them on the few occasions we manage a brief moment of superiority over them.

But, anyway, keep it coming if you must and if anyone has any 'new' material, feel free - not heard any yet so it would make a nice change.

Ok...just one more, sorry could`nt resist...


I hear they are having trouble on the underground....

apparently its due to a points failure in north london

Osama Bin Laden sent out a new video to prove he was still alive, in it he said SPURS were rubbish recently.
Britsh intelligence dissmissed it saying: ''That could have been recorded anytime in the last 8 years''...


Just in case you missed this - Currently on sale in the Spurs shop


SPURS TABLECLOTHS - Suitable for any occasion but tend to slip down the table after a short time - £4:99

SPURS VIDEOS - All the highlights from the last 20 years action. This 10 min video, including lots of re-runs, is a perfect gift for any fan - £9:99

SPURS BANNERS - Come complete with interchangeable slogans Eg: - "GROSS OUT", "SUGAR OUT", "GRAHAM OUT", "LET ME OUT" etc.. £15:00

"OUR LITTLE HERO" KEYRINGS - Come complete with model of Alan Gilzean (Our Hero) attached. - £0.50p each.

SPURS JOKE BOOK - A MUST for all fans. This 900 page book is full of all the best jokes ever told about the club. - £25:00

SPURS CONDOMS - Come in sizes from "Little Hero" to "BIG LES". Ideal for the pricks in the Paxton Road End. - £0:75p for life-times supply. (3)

SPURS BRA - One for the ladies. This bra, in team colours, comes with good support but no cups- £14:99

SPURS 'LADIES' TOWELS - The 'Darren Anderton' sanitary towel, complete with instructions, "In for a week, Out for a month". - £1:00 each

KEEPER'S GLOVE - A must for any fans at the back of the stand, or near the corner flags to catch any shots our lads may have at goal. £8:99

LEAGUE DIRECTORY - An item for the more discerning fan. This quality publication gives detailed directions to every 'Nationwide' League Ground in the country. A snip at just £25:00

SPURS LIPSTICK - Ideal for kissing goodbye. (To the Premier League, as worn by our players) £0:99p each

BARGAIN BASEMENT - Don't miss the annual clearance sale of players. These come in all ages, (many are free of charge, spares or repairs)

Mmm. dave wilky - that's a new one on me, you can have that. Mr Munnings - nope, those are just 'insert name of team currently struggling' jokes.

What is the difference between a circus and White Hart Lane?






One is a cunning array of stunts...