Written by a Barnet Fan.
Firstly, you need two ingredients:
1) A Banjo
2) A Cow's arse (a whole cow will do, as long as it has an arse. Arse-less cows are of no use).
Then do the following:
1) Hold the banjo at the end of the long thin end.
2) Stand an arms length plus about 8 inches from the cow's arse - side on.
3) Swing the banjo steadily back behind your head.
4) Swing forward at maximum velocity such that the strumming end of the banjo hits the cow's arse.
5) Run away
Often players go straight to No.5 first